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Re: Grim Specters
Very interesting. I liked the first two sentences. They really captured my attention. Claustrophobia takes hold; I imagine a geriatric mass operating as a single entity, closing around me, gripping ...
Oct 2, 2008 -
Re: long ago :ancient china prolouge
Okay. Interesting start, but it was a little on the short side. Prologues don't have to have a specific length, but you didn't give quite enough information for me to ...
Oct 1, 2008 -
Re: Awakening
I can't believe nobody has reviewed this yetQ! Very capturing! You mention that her fingers are thin and pale a little too much. Just once or twice is fine. :D ...
Sep 27, 2008 -
Re: My crazy poetry
If you didn't want us to correct your grammar or the poem, why did you post it? :? It would have been nice if you separated this into lines. It ...
Sep 16, 2008 -
Re: Artist on strings
Interesting poem. I found it rather funny, but also a tad bit sad. I get on to people a lot for this, but you don't have a stable rhyming pattern. ...
Sep 16, 2008 -
Re: Falling Dreams
This poem was very well-written and beautiful. I agree with kokobeans about those two lines. I would like to give you a suggestion, but I don't want it to ruin ...
Sep 16, 2008 -
Re: broken heart
First of all, you need to do two reviews before you post anything of your own, then keep a 2 to 1 ratio. The more reviews you do, the more ...
Sep 16, 2008 -
Re: Breaking Glasses
Nice poem. I'm not much of a poetry writer myself, but we had to do a lot of it in school once. Go on! Say you goodbyes! your I can ...
Sep 13, 2008 -
Re: Breakdown
Do you really hate math that much? :wink: :lol: Very nice piece, really sad. For the first time in my life I feel alone like every one is gone. "every ...
Sep 13, 2008 -
Re: Avargorn: S.S - Prologue
Yaay! I finally got time to read this. I was dying all week waiting. Hoorayy! You put your dialogue in quotations this time! Good for you. Sureal has already mentioned ...
Sep 13, 2008 -
Re: The man of the Wood
It's a nice little story, but it seemed like a bunch of descriptions. The descriptions were excellent, but as Mikedb1492 said, it didn't have any action. The boy walked most ...
Sep 10, 2008 -
Re: Death of a hero 3
Wow. Sorry this took so long, but life's been hectic! Okay. I really liked this chapter, and it didn't seem to incomplete to me. Everyone has already pointed out the ...
Sep 10, 2008 -
Re: The Swimming Eagle
I thought that this was a good poem. It kept its rythym and For the most part, its rhyming pattern. I agree with Fellow on the fact that the title ...
Sep 9, 2008 -
Re: Chapter 1- Tcheropa
I'm not sure if this is what you were going for, but I thought it was sort of cute. I know what it's like to have to babysit your three-year-old ...
Sep 9, 2008 -
Re: Last Night
I had to read this a couple of times before I understood it. I think I get it now. Perhaps this should be in Narrative poetry. I'm not really sure. ...
Sep 8, 2008
